“How would I describe my relationship with my Higher Self?”
Sitting in bed, snuggled in my lavender colored blankets, I read the journal prompt in Catherine Solange’s The Road to Intimacy Beyond Codependence and sat there stymied. Relationship? Non-existent. I gaffed.
In all honesty, though, I consider myself pretty lucky. For most of my life I’ve been in tune with my Higher Power (I called it my intuition). She’s kept in contact through different modalities. Sometimes she’s a still, small voice, like the one you hear in the movie Eat, Pray, Love when Julia Robert’s character, Liz, is on the bathroom floor crying and you hear a voice whisper “Go back to bed Liz”. Most of the time, she comes through as an overall sense of “knowing” and most recently she got through to me in a flash vision of a car accident, two stop lights before I totaled my Subaru. Startling to say the least.
Despite my Higher Power’s best efforts to keep me in line, I’ll admit I’m fucking stubborn. I’m well aware of my personality flaw: I buck the system, stick it to the man, disregard orders, typically do the opposite of what I’m told out of spite. My unwillingness to listen/trust my intuition has not been without headaches and misfortunes, some situations having a lasting impact from the resulting trauma.
Laying there, reading that question again, I pondered, Relationship?
I wasn’t wrong in thinking that my relationship with my Higher Self is non-existent. A relationship, I argue, requires a back-and-forth, give-and-take, between two entities. For 30+ years I have been the passive receiver, only hearing, knowing or seeing messages from my Higher Power.
So like I can talk to her? About anything? That’s when my epiphany happened!
What if she was my personal consultant? What if I conferred with her before every decision to see if I have her approval?
Had I used my Higher Power as my personal consultant in my 33 years, my life would be COMPLETELY different! She’d have steered away from toxic relationships, situations and places of work. I wouldn’t have sexual, emotional or physical trauma to have to work through. My therapist, Jennifer, would be making a lot less money! 😉
I know I can’t rewind the clock (cue Cher: “If I could turn back time…“). I also realize that my past has made me the resilient, empathetic person I am today, therefor I’m looking to the future. From this day forward I’ll start asking my Higher Self, “Is this in alignment with who I am?” and watch how my life changes. From here on out, I’ll be divinely guided.
Do you have a relationship with your Higher Self? Do you talk to her/him or does he/she contact you? What would you ask your Higher Self? I’d love to know! Please share in the comments below.