Taking Life By the Balls

Today is the day that I take life by the balls. It’s been a year in a half in the making, two months in the planning and a whole lot of emotional and spiritual growth to get here. Before today, I was a scared, anxious girl who went through life playing the victim. I watched my life pass me by as if it was playing on the big screen and I was a paying customer. Yes, I made decisions and yes, I was going through the motions of life, but I did not feel like an active and willing participant. Things happened to me and I passively reacted. I had goals and dreams but they seemed far off in the distance, impossible to achieve. Today is the day that changes. Today is the day I head out on my Australian adventure.

A year in a half ago, I had the idea to try an Australian working holiday when I was out visiting my friend Brendan in Minnesota. As he was telling me about his experience in Australia, I started to wonder if I was capable of trying this once in a lifetime experience. Fear had prevented me from not going into the Peace Corps directly after college and fear had prevented me from not teaching English abroad after grad school, two experiences I regret not doing. This working holiday in Australia seemed like the perfect way to get a similar experience living abroad and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Over the past year, I had become overwhelmingly disappointed living and working in Philadelphia and I felt the need to start looking for a new place to call home. Since I can remember, I’ve always dreamed of moving to Colorado because of the landscape and the lifestyle it affords. This has been my dream that alluded me since I was sixteen. This is what I once thought was impossible, but now I know it’s within reach. My Australian adventure will be my last hoorah before my relocation to Colorado, as a way to reignite my passion for life.

It hasn’t been an easy road, planning and prepping this Australian adventure. There have been multiple setbacks, including the expiration of my original visa. I’ve struggled with the decision to go, leaving my dog, my comfort zone and all of the friends and family that I love. I’ve anxiously debated if I could manage to work and live in another country successfully. I’ve struggled to hide my doubts with a fake smile and laugh as other friends and family members have expressed their excitement, their joy, their support for my trip. As my departure date has drawn closer, I’ve become more comfortable with my decision, more confident that this will be an amazing experience. But I guarantee the meltdowns will come. I guarantee things might not work out as planned. And I guarantee there will be times when I question myself as to what I’m doing.  But ultimately, I truly believe that this adventure is just what is needed for me to move on to the next chapter of my life.

I have specific intentions for my Australian adventure, which I will be writing about in later posts. But today, I’m making the conscious decision to change my life’s trajectory instead of maintaining the status quo, despite all of the anxiousness, insecurities, and doubt that come with it. So today, this girl is taking life by the balls and being that badass I always knew I could be.

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